Monday, May 28, 2012

Another Taxi Moment


Journal entry:
05/13/01 – Sunday (22:10):
Quite a week…
I actually made enough to pay Dr. R what I owe him (for my new teeth)… just enough counting what I might make tonight.
There is a character that lives at 1034 Bath who imagines himself  to be a big time player in the cocaine arena. I’ve picked him up at all of the posh places in Hope Ranch or up in the hills at one ostentatious mini-mansion or another from time to time.  I usually refuse the call whenever I realize who I’m being dispatched to. The guy is so damned overbearing about his cocaine use… always offering me some and chiding me when I refuse.
            I picked up one of his dumb blondes earlier and she, to my dismay, directs me to a familiar address... a punk that I don’t quite recognize gets in my cab. She is pleasant enough but, as soon as he got in the back seat with her, he asks, “Do you want me in your taxi?”
            Red flag… means I’ve had trouble with this jerk before. I turned to give him a good looking over and I couldn’t quite place him… so I said something to this effect, “Don’t see why not… unless you give me a reason… I know nothing of you at this point.”
            He relaxed and, as we rolled out of the long driveway, he gave me his address… I don't always remember the faces but I do always recall the adresses... Oh no… not this punk again!
            Sure enough… on the way he starts his shit… passed a crack-pipe up to me and asked, “You want a hit?”
            “No thanks…”
            “You want a hit… " now demanding, "I can tell… you are an old hand at this. Eh, cabbie?”
            So many of them… coke punks… think they are being outrageous when all that they are doing is acting incredibly stupid…. nothing at all that original.
            He asked me the most commonly asked question I get asked by these types, “What is the kinkiest thing that has gone down in your cab? Has anyone fucked in your back seat? Would you let them do it and watch?”
            Annoyed, I answered, “What excites me probably wouldn’t interest you at all.”
            “Try one,” he challenged.
            We were a block from his house, “The most exciting thing for me is when I pull up to our destination and unload another fare after I take his money.”
            He reacted as though I had insulted him by trying to get more outrageous... tipped me an extra five bucks while stuffing more coke down his already coked up nose, "C'mon, have some blow, Bro… On me.”
            “Thank you for patronizing me but no thanks, again.”
            The chick caught it and laughed… wasn’t so dumb after all… but he had no idea what I meant.
            I see coke dealers and small time mules and I see plenty of the attitude that goes with it. I see a trail of extortion and murder… foreign policy decisions and so on that leave a bloody tragedy from Central America to the ghettos and suburbs here. A certain amnesia and apathy choking America in a moral atrophy that is too sad to be taken less than seriously…

(03:00) Angie: slipping sickly, skinny, pretty, big-titted-cokehead doll I know from AA. She’s on her way to score so she wasn’t all to happy to see me driving the cab… didn’t expect to see an asshole from the meetings to be helming a taxi in the middle of the night. 
        
She tried to act happy to see me but I saw her brow contort as she closed the door. “Just going to see a friend… Max.” Then she thought better of it, “Don’t snitch me out, okay?”
             “No, Hon, there is a cabbie code of silence, y’know.” 
“Take me to 1034 Bath.”
 She had no idea how much I care.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

A Taxi Cab Grilling


  Cruising up Loma Alta with a fare to the top of the Riviera after the bewitching hour: three am.

She asks: Why do you like driving at night?
Overvoice: My  standard answer:…

He: the people… the traffic… the mystery, etc, I especially love it when it quiets down in the middle of the night … like now, after the bars close.
She: Do you take a lot of drunks home?
He: Yeh.
She: Drunker than me?
He: I take some pretty good and drunk folks…
She: Am I as pretty?... Good?... or drunk, as any of them?
He: Yeh, I guess so… all I know is I take ‘em home and, if they are happy… I’m happy.
She: And if they aren’t happy?
He: I can’t be responsible for their unhappiness.
She: What do you think makes the so unhappy?
He: Perhaps it has something to do with expectations when those don’t measure up to the reality of Samsara. What do you think?
She: About what?
He: What makes people unhappy?
She: I think it is when they depend on others for their happiness.
He: That sounds like a big part of it. Maybe even the biggest part…. Do you like living up here?
She: It’s okay.
He: I enjoy driving up here.
She: Why?
He: Because it is up here… and this car loves winding roads.

Overvoice: She paid the fare… I watched her count out the bills. It occurred to me that her questions were pointed and bitter… there was an acidic quality to them. She was unhappy and the conversation did nothing to make her feel better. I got the distinct impression that she thought I had to be the most uninteresting and boring shit she ever been in a cab with... Oh Well... next.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

A Dream


I just write. I got up early and went to my faithful old Remington to record this dream. The Remington did something it has never done before. The keys wouldn't strike the page so I had to abandon my dear one to get down this dream before it drifted away and my mind reconstructed the damned thing to make sense of it. I need to take a good look at my Remington and see what I can do to repair it because it is where I usually type out my rants and dreams. It is so much more fulfilling for me to pound out stuff on its keys... so here is the dream:

In the dream she was there… she was there in the bed with me. I HELD HER TO MY BODY AND HER BODY MERGED WITH MINE. It was sweet and lovely and all that crap and I say crap because she left the bed... it wasn't even my bed after all. I followed her on a mountain trail … she protested… “Do you have to fuckin'  go where I go. Let me go.”
So I let her go as she went off the trail through a thicket. I saw her struggling through the briars and then, even against my will, I went up along side to where she was, causing her to protest once more, “Let me alone now. I hate you… Don’t you know? I want to get away from you!”
But why” I called out to her in the thicket, “weren’t we just together making love?”
“Don’t follow me… let me go my own way!”

I let her go and after that I saw her with another man in the dunes... yeh dunes... you know... a dream eh... they were making out… anger and longing mixed… “Why? What did I do wrong?” I raced across the sand as though I were flying… flying up to them... and turned last minute as though I were on skis… I sprayed sand on them as she grinned in a gesture that said, “I’m no longer yours… go away.”
I... my feet in boots not skies, like a skier flying past her and her new lover as they embraced, had sprayed her with sand… with sand… with sand... with sand.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A Scribbled Secret Notebook

A Throwback to Another Era
My best writing comes from the morning hours: five am to noon. The afternoons are usually enjoyed, either walking on the beach with my honey, or doing errands. The beach is now my main thing. The mountains once were (before sciatica and arthritis took me out of the kinds of hikes I love). We are blessed to have both here. Blessed... hmmm, sounds pretentious but it is the best word I could come up with. Blessed it is then.

This morning I put Adriane on hold to let my juice go somewhere else... guiding light when I write is the advice on writing found in God Never Blinks by Regina Brett: #4. Take a risk. What would you write if you had six months to live? Say it.


Or in the words of the dumbsaint of the mind, Jack Kerouac: Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your own joy.


These are the times I pound out nonsensical sense on my Remington Noiseless antique. I do that because I love the noiselessness of its muted thump thump of the keys that demand some energy that the pulse the percussion section makes to the music of my mind. I like to hear the mechanical ticking of a wind-up watch too... these things make me a throwback to another era... a friend gave Bonnie a bunch of old watches and stuff in a box. She likes to take them apart and use the gears and cogs for her assemblages. She saw one she liked and wondered whether it worked... "we can get a battery... eh?"

I popped the stem and wound it... putting it to her ear... she exclaimed... "the battery still works!"

I am only ten years her senior but I can see that I belong to a seemingly simpler era... but an era fraught with contradictions and confusions as great as the present day. Time doesn't change for us but the perceptions of time does. The big picture can be found in subatomic wavicals as well as in the amazing array of galaxies that spin around mindless of our minute and ordinary concerns that demand we are important in the cosmic scheme of things... but ever creating and ignoring us, as I ignore, the community of neurons and synapses that compose this tripe.

Question: Would Melville find the typewriter a clattering  intrusion on his perfect mastery of a Thoreau pencil?

I am writing Adriane to a click click of keys that take very little energy. I am spoiled by grammar and spell check... I can look at the monitor screen and scan over the pages without without crossing out changes and can effortlessly edit and edit and edit forever if I please.

I wonder: Did the scribes of yore...  Whitman and Wordsworth did they pencil before they quilled? Did Dante have to edit his own work or did he send it off to someone else with a perfect hand and eye for detail? It goes on and on way back to the aboriginal cave paintings where a bison is scribed over with an extinct tiger with time and time again with a giant sloth or woman's vagina...

I was just wondering.

Reading now: A Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh.

I read a paragraph or two while I sit on the can... if you know what I mean. He uses dialect, pigeon English and accents as deftly as Mark Twain. I love how the story goes back and forth from inside the minds of each character. I'm only about one third of the way through it. I haven't read anything else by him but I will.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Closing the Deal


Chapter Fourteen:
Closing The Deal

Nick contacted Billy again after he parked at a filling station in Beullton. Goddamn, they took the pay-phone out… should I use my cell? Naw. Drive a little further… maybe the phone at work… oh, a little too close…. Shit. Billy is waiting for a call. I’ll take a chance… get a new phone… maybe say I lost this one if the narcs track it.
“Hey…”
“Where were you? I‘ve been waitin’ at this goddamned phone an hour!”
“Calm down, Billy….” Nick had enough confidence based on bias that wasn’t about to let a low-life like Billy to push him around, “What is so goddamned important.”
“It’s big… we need ten grand to get in on the deal,” Billy’s voice had sparks of anticipation flying from his side of the phone. “The boys in Tee-Jay trust me with this… if we can come up with it… the other half when we can.”
“Yeh, but I don’t like having my cajones attached to ten-grand,” as Nick spoke his mind was already racing… how could he get Adriane in on the deal? Ten-grand is chump change to her and… maybe he could make up for some of that twenty grand he owes her. “I’ll check it out… how soon do you have to know?”
“By tomorrow, asshole, Honcho is coming up in the afternoon,”… the line went dead. That is the way Billy always did business: brief and to the point.

Adriane hesitated to pick-up the phone when she saw Nick’s number displayed on caller ID. It was never good news but, for curiosity’s sake, she couldn’t resist, “Yes?”
“We need to talk. Can I … can we… can you meet me somewhere, I’m at work. I have a way of paying you back the money I owe you.” He was pulling at straws and he knew she knew it but you never know… if he sounded humble enough. He told himself… try not to sound so fucking eager.
“Yes… so, what is it going to cost me this time?’ she was in no way going to fold this time. These pitches, and she had learned the hard way, always came with a price for her. The money didn’t matter to her as much as it was for her distaste for being conned by him. She let his pitch by, low and outside: Ball one!
“It would be an investment Adriane,” he didn’t like her tone… calm down… better salve her ego… second pitch, “I know better than… I won’t try to pull the wool over your eyes.”
“Nick, Damnit… I don’t know what you mean by wooly eyes… Why don’t you ever call to ask me how I’m doing before you try to sell me on one of your big deals?” Ball two; she hung up… leaning against the wall next to her easel she let out a muted moan and waited for his call-back. If it was a big deal he’d call back right away. If he just needed money for another line or balloon he’d pass on her and hustle one of his other marks.
She picked up the phone, “Make it a good one this time Nick.” His call was his third pitch. Strike one, ball two.
“I’m, sorry, Hon, I should respect your intelligence… let me explain myself…” he told her of Billy’s big deal and how he wouldn’t ask her for anything if it wasn’t a sure thing and so on, “You can triple your investment as soon as we turn it over…”
“How much, Nick… Just fucking tell me how much.” She was interested, but not for her own profits. I was more of a matter of getting rid of Nick along with his debt. Strike two, ball two.
“Twenty-five grand…” he knew she wouldn’t go for that much but he might as well try for a cushion in case anything went wrong. He still had at least one more pitch.
“”Shit, you asshole, you are already into me for almost that much.” she sniped back at him but was relieved he wasn’t trying to dig into her for more. She was also well aware that Nick’s deal was probably doable on half that much. She simply needed to make him grovel for it if she was going to part with it. “If you can turn it over right away then why can’t you get credit from them… whoever they are?” She swung but tipped the ball. Foul ball! Strike two, ball two.
“These guys are from Tee-Jay,” he knew it wouldn’t take much persuading now that she sounded somewhat interested. “They can be pretty demanding and impatient if it turns over slower than I’m thinking.”
“Yes, but what do you think I will do if you burn me?” she let the slider by, Ball three!
“I trust that you wouldn’t stuff my cajones in my mouth and put a bullet in my brain pan?” he thinking, C’mon bitch swing.
“Okay, I can come up with twenty in cash before the local bank closes.” Steeee-rike… Thuh-reeee! “I can’t get you more. Unless, of course, you can take a check from a foreign account,” She knew he’d more than happily take the fifteen and wasn’t at all surprised when he accepted without hesitation.

The exchange of cash for kilos of tar went off at a popular taco joint on Milpas. Nick was not at all worried about the meeting. He was more excited to finally meet with some of the Tee-Jay boys even if they were lower echelon gangsters. He had seen the Mexican magazine, Alama, and marveled at the graphic depictions of gangster executions depicted on its pages. He knew these guys were capable, or even responsible for some of it. Manuel had been a mysterious voice on the phone that Billy spoke to but Nick was meeting him for the first time. With him was a San Diego brute that lumbered into the place whose eyes did all the talking. You did not want to mess with him. Manuel, on the other hand, wasn’t threatening at all. He was almost friendly but he spoke with the assurance that his words were taken seriously by all. He did not have to feign arrogance and his demeanor put anyone he talked with at ease.
They sat down at the table where Nick and Billy had been waiting and without pause Manuel gestured to Billy, saying. “We’ll have a couple of quesadillas.”
Billy understood the gesture and reluctantly cued up in the line at the order window. The common picture of these transactions taking place in an isolated desert location is mostly myth. This particular place had an outdoor area with tables under a canopy that is always crowded. There was no table service but the place was a popular joint for people who came from all over Southern California for the friendly ambiance on the patio as much as for the food.
Billy kept his peace while Manuel had a brief but friendly chat about the food with the West Los Angeles gay couple at the table with them. It was customary for people to share tables there which added to its unusually friendly atmosphere. He then turned his attention to Nick, “So Mr. Baker, you are, shall we say, the principle investor?”
Nick was assured that Manuel’s discretion commanded an equivalent respect even though they were discussing the matter at hand quite publically. “Yes, I am most pleased to be a partner in this enterprise.”
“We can discuss it after we enjoy our quesadillas,” he flashed disarmingly pearly white teeth and continued, “Perhaps you can give us a tour of the city. I have only been a few times here and I like it.” He then turned his attention to the gay couple asking about where they were from and how they liked Santa Barbara.
It is a relaxed and easy affair that is in no way to be transacted without some degree of caution but the security comes from dealing with dependable and profitable associates. Nick and Billy knew that these Tee-Jay, Arellano Felix, cartel folks really didn’t give one shit for the lives of those who crossed them: there were no second chances. Maybe even a fourteen year old kid, Nick couldn’t help miss but notice in the parking lot, was probably armed with a Mac 11 machine pistol in his baggie pants awaiting a signal… they were quite willing to ‘clear the room” of anyone interfering with business, DEA or ICE… collateral personnel… it didn’t matter to them. The kid was a willing and expendable asset bred for this purpose to use in extreme cases. But it wasn’t likely anything dire would occur during the transaction because the cartels were shy of drawing attention to themselves in del Norte in the manner they eliminated competition in the open in Tee-Jay.
Manuel liked to exchange bundles of c-notes and packs of tar in laptop packs instead of briefcases. He considered them to be too obvious and were passé for open transactions. Billy picked up his pack from Nick’s car and the four rode off in Manuel’s Mercedes. Manuel waved a hand for Nick to sit in the front seat with Manuel and Billy had the back seat with the Hulk. As they drove away from Milpas and up the steep winding Garcia Road to Alameda Padre Serra Manuel’s the Hulk opened the laptop case and thumbed through the bundle of twenty bills while Nick picked up the case from the floor at his feet.
Unzipping the case Nick saw nothing but a laptop. Manuel gestured with his free hand flipping. Nick didn’t quite understand until Manuel  “check the battery.”
Nick opened it up finding four bundles wrapped in cellophane where the battery would have been. “Very clever,” he said as he pulled the two out… about a half kilo. He stuck a pen knife into the cellophane and then took a taste… swell… the bitterness soon turn to a mild high and Nick could tell that this was potent stuff…. a higher grade than what Billy had been hawking.
“Good enough for you?” Manuel grinned.
“Yeh…”